The Bond Complex

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Cormac O’Meara pines for Bonds of old.

 

Ian Fleming’s British secret service agent is trending all over Twitter this week in an on-going debate. It appears that the 007  character is up for grabs and everybody is weighing in. The debate has escalated dramatically since James Bond author, Anthony Horowitz, described Idris Elba as too “street” to play the iconic character. Whether or not there is some racial prejudice behind his remark, you’d think an established author would have more sense to word that statement with a bit more finesse. He claims that his reasoning isn’t because of skin colour, but rather that Elba doesn’t possess the calm and collective suaveness in which the Bond character entails. Who, that guy? That charismatic, handsome, smooth, cold as ice, black guy? Him? He doesn’t have that Bond etiquette.

On top of this, in a recent interview with Esquire, Daniel Craig stepped off his high horse to critique the misogynistic and sexist mannerisms of Bond, stating that he’s developed the character and hopes he has forged a new politically correct James Bond for contemporary society. Furthermore, in a delusional state, reassuring us that he is not like Bond in real life, as if we didn’t get the memo confirming that he is actually an actor playing a role.

Both comments from Craig and Horowitz clash and both are equally as pointless. Personally, I think that both Craig and Elba do not embody James Bond. Both are far physically too big and muscular, sabotaging the everyman Bond fantasy. They just look too damn healthy. Bond doesn’t do a session at the gym. He smokes sixty a day, horses the booze and orders room service. The only exercise he gets is with his thumb on one of Q’s gadgets or when he’s between the sheets after a close shave with death. After Pierce Brosnan (a great Bond), James Bond was born again. He packed in the cigs, cut down on the martinis, hit the gym and simply stopped having fun. The all new serious and brooding Bond was here to entertain.

We no longer take James Bond with a pinch of salt, but rather we carry on his extra baggage. He’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders and it seems to bother him, moping around like life’s tough being Bond. James Bond, the international man of mystery, the world-travelled, promiscuous, chameleon – the male fantasy, he’s suffering! The whole franchise that was built on this suave escape artist, is now retracting his aura. James Bond once was a fun male escape fantasy, clearly not to be taken wholeheartedly. He was a confident man with a license to kill , who has now become weak and unsure of himself. I don’t know what the future holds for Bond, all I know is that if the franchise continues to go down this melancholic route, Lynx are gonna have to re-think their entire marketing strategy: ‘Lynx For Men: I’m Complicated’

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